BUT I'M A GREAT PLANNER

If you were given, in the pre-earth life, the choice between having stronger potential with weaker execution or weaker potential with stronger execution, you might think the two choices would even out in the end. It doesn’t even out at all. Here’s a bit of advice way too late: Always choose execution. Always.

Had I publicized this blog at all so that anyone at all were actually reading this, they might have read the first two or three entries and thought, “Oh this could be good. This fellow is beginning an interesting journey. Perhaps not one I would choose, but it will be neat to watch this story unfold.” At this point in the blog, however, they would more likely be saying something along the lines of, “This guy’s all talk.”

I’m haunted – HAUNTED by something my Mission President told me during my exit interview. He went through all the standard stuff he asks everyone, all the things he had pre-written, then he closed his book and looked me in the eye and said, “Now, let me tell you something I’ve learned about Elder Barlow: He takes too long to reach his potential.” I mean that’s exactly what he said; I remember it with perfect clarity 20 years later.

And 20 years later, it’s still true. I have a very modest level of spirituality I set as a goal years ago, and I’m nowhere on achieving it. I mean simple stuff: read scriptures, say prayers, family home evening, magnify your calling, and I’m doing none of it. That’s one area of my life. Other areas are similar, but let’s not beat the point into the ground.

Now look at my bishop. We are about the same age, our interests are much the same, but he is much more my hero than my peer, and it’s all about execution. It’s not because he’s an amazing bishop. Well, partially it is, but only in that he is able to be an amazing bishop while being an amazing writer, an amazing performer, a strong provider and head of an amazing family, part of a network of amazing people he calls friends, and a number of other things. Our intentions are practically the same – I want to be those very same things, but he follows through.

I don’t know what makes the difference for him. For me, I think the difference would be those little 5-hour energy bottles. It would be good to get a hold of some testosterone shots, too. Maybe some niacin and vitamin C supplements – that would make all the difference in the world. That would solve everything. Just kidding, I don’t believe any of that. I don’t know where to get it. I don’t know.

HOLD MUSIC

        Everything is on hold. As I list the excuses in my mind, the list only comes to three, and not one of them is any good.

         The first is that I’m back on a diet. Briefly. Just to get the holiday weight off, plus a little I didn’t get the first time, and mostly to reset the metabolism, if that’s really true about this diet. The idea is that if I do everything right, the hypothalamus will reset itself to my current BFI, and quit desperately trying to regain all the weight. That is my excuse for not attacking the learn to cook goal. It’s weak, but it doesn’t matter, because I’m fast approaching the goal weight – 185 pounds, 60 pounds from where I started this last year.

          Then I have to gain muscle. Like 10-15 pounds of it. No bigs.

          My excuse for letting family home evening and family scripture study slide is that my wife is currently unable to join in. Poor thing, she’s up late every night on the computer either grading or writing papers. Soon, though, she will be teaching, but no longer a student – she graduates in less than one month with her MBA! I’m so proud of her. When that happens, we’ll be straight down the line on this.

          Again, neither is a great excuse. I still need to cook for the kids, and especially to get them eating vegetables. Tonight, I intend to put a fair amount of time into meal planning, and trying to make it economical to eat well. Which is to say, food other than frozen pizzas and boxes of macaroni and cheese. For the spiritual, there’s nothing stopping me from really launching into my personal scripture study and prayer, nor from beginning to plan for the lessons I’ll be teaching every week in four more weeks.

          As for the music, there is one thing: We just purchased Adobe Master Creative Suite. It’s awesome, and will be doing all sorts of graphics for Trin and audio/video editing for me once we learn it. Only it’s so awesome, our computer isn’t up to the challenge. So we need a new computer. Again, still a weak excuse. I had enough before I bought it to begin recording, to say nothing of singing and arranging.

          The real obstacle? I could pontificate and search deep down and bore you to tears, but probably more fun to just go downstairs and dig out that recipe for no-carb cauliflower crust pizza. I’ll let you know if it’s awesome.

THE FOUR LEGS ON OUR FAMILY’S SPIRITUAL TABLE

            Some time ago, (I wanna say November 30, 2008, but don’t quote me on that) our particularly awesome bishop got us all together and gave us a metaphor. He said it had been weighing heavily on his mind and he felt it really needed to be our ward’s focus. It was that our family’s spiritual table (I like to think of it as our family dinner table, at which we are able to feast spiritually, because I’m all about the food) has four critical legs it needs in order to stand:

            1. Personal and family prayer

            2. Personal and family scripture study

            3. Sabbath day observance

            4. Family Home Evening

            It may have even been in that order. I’m not sure. But I do know this is something that I want. Well, apparently, I don’t want it enough, because it’s three years later and we’re slackers in all categories. Well, we’re good on the Sabbath – we attend our meetings and don’t shop or buy anything, at least. On the other three, we are not doing an-y-thing. Oh sure, there’s the usual excuses of “we really, really don’t have the time right now,” but our testimonies are such that we should really know that Heavenly Father blesses those that give their time to these things, such that there will be enough time for the other things, and to spare.

            So here’s my vision. At 8:00 every night, we stop what we’re doing, get into jammies, brush our teeth, come downstairs, pull out journals, and read scriptures, each to ourselves, making notes as the Spirit directs (scripture journaling idea, particularly for kids, courtesy of Pinterest). Then at 8:30 we read together for ten minutes, say family prayer and the kids go to bed.

            On Sundays at 7:00, we sing a hymn, say a prayer, and the lesson belongs to, get this, all of us. No big lessons – a lot of little lessons. Thoughts from the week of studying scriptures and journaling, ideally. That gives the kids a chance to participate, and Mom and Dad get a chance to share some things in our own hearts, without so much stress about preparation. Then we play a game and eat banana cream pie and Sprite (or the equivalent).

            That leaves the first lesson to me, and if I prepare for it, they will come. My lesson will be exactly what I just wrote above, explaining the table, setting up the vision, getting everyone’s buy-in to the new format. That’s Day 1. Then Day 2 and from then on, we do it every day for the rest of our lives. Maybe it's that lifetime commitment that's really kept me from getting this going earlier. Sounds heavy, doesn't it?