BUT I'M A GREAT PLANNER

If you were given, in the pre-earth life, the choice between having stronger potential with weaker execution or weaker potential with stronger execution, you might think the two choices would even out in the end. It doesn’t even out at all. Here’s a bit of advice way too late: Always choose execution. Always.

Had I publicized this blog at all so that anyone at all were actually reading this, they might have read the first two or three entries and thought, “Oh this could be good. This fellow is beginning an interesting journey. Perhaps not one I would choose, but it will be neat to watch this story unfold.” At this point in the blog, however, they would more likely be saying something along the lines of, “This guy’s all talk.”

I’m haunted – HAUNTED by something my Mission President told me during my exit interview. He went through all the standard stuff he asks everyone, all the things he had pre-written, then he closed his book and looked me in the eye and said, “Now, let me tell you something I’ve learned about Elder Barlow: He takes too long to reach his potential.” I mean that’s exactly what he said; I remember it with perfect clarity 20 years later.

And 20 years later, it’s still true. I have a very modest level of spirituality I set as a goal years ago, and I’m nowhere on achieving it. I mean simple stuff: read scriptures, say prayers, family home evening, magnify your calling, and I’m doing none of it. That’s one area of my life. Other areas are similar, but let’s not beat the point into the ground.

Now look at my bishop. We are about the same age, our interests are much the same, but he is much more my hero than my peer, and it’s all about execution. It’s not because he’s an amazing bishop. Well, partially it is, but only in that he is able to be an amazing bishop while being an amazing writer, an amazing performer, a strong provider and head of an amazing family, part of a network of amazing people he calls friends, and a number of other things. Our intentions are practically the same – I want to be those very same things, but he follows through.

I don’t know what makes the difference for him. For me, I think the difference would be those little 5-hour energy bottles. It would be good to get a hold of some testosterone shots, too. Maybe some niacin and vitamin C supplements – that would make all the difference in the world. That would solve everything. Just kidding, I don’t believe any of that. I don’t know where to get it. I don’t know.

HOLD MUSIC

        Everything is on hold. As I list the excuses in my mind, the list only comes to three, and not one of them is any good.

         The first is that I’m back on a diet. Briefly. Just to get the holiday weight off, plus a little I didn’t get the first time, and mostly to reset the metabolism, if that’s really true about this diet. The idea is that if I do everything right, the hypothalamus will reset itself to my current BFI, and quit desperately trying to regain all the weight. That is my excuse for not attacking the learn to cook goal. It’s weak, but it doesn’t matter, because I’m fast approaching the goal weight – 185 pounds, 60 pounds from where I started this last year.

          Then I have to gain muscle. Like 10-15 pounds of it. No bigs.

          My excuse for letting family home evening and family scripture study slide is that my wife is currently unable to join in. Poor thing, she’s up late every night on the computer either grading or writing papers. Soon, though, she will be teaching, but no longer a student – she graduates in less than one month with her MBA! I’m so proud of her. When that happens, we’ll be straight down the line on this.

          Again, neither is a great excuse. I still need to cook for the kids, and especially to get them eating vegetables. Tonight, I intend to put a fair amount of time into meal planning, and trying to make it economical to eat well. Which is to say, food other than frozen pizzas and boxes of macaroni and cheese. For the spiritual, there’s nothing stopping me from really launching into my personal scripture study and prayer, nor from beginning to plan for the lessons I’ll be teaching every week in four more weeks.

          As for the music, there is one thing: We just purchased Adobe Master Creative Suite. It’s awesome, and will be doing all sorts of graphics for Trin and audio/video editing for me once we learn it. Only it’s so awesome, our computer isn’t up to the challenge. So we need a new computer. Again, still a weak excuse. I had enough before I bought it to begin recording, to say nothing of singing and arranging.

          The real obstacle? I could pontificate and search deep down and bore you to tears, but probably more fun to just go downstairs and dig out that recipe for no-carb cauliflower crust pizza. I’ll let you know if it’s awesome.

THE FOUR LEGS ON OUR FAMILY’S SPIRITUAL TABLE

            Some time ago, (I wanna say November 30, 2008, but don’t quote me on that) our particularly awesome bishop got us all together and gave us a metaphor. He said it had been weighing heavily on his mind and he felt it really needed to be our ward’s focus. It was that our family’s spiritual table (I like to think of it as our family dinner table, at which we are able to feast spiritually, because I’m all about the food) has four critical legs it needs in order to stand:

            1. Personal and family prayer

            2. Personal and family scripture study

            3. Sabbath day observance

            4. Family Home Evening

            It may have even been in that order. I’m not sure. But I do know this is something that I want. Well, apparently, I don’t want it enough, because it’s three years later and we’re slackers in all categories. Well, we’re good on the Sabbath – we attend our meetings and don’t shop or buy anything, at least. On the other three, we are not doing an-y-thing. Oh sure, there’s the usual excuses of “we really, really don’t have the time right now,” but our testimonies are such that we should really know that Heavenly Father blesses those that give their time to these things, such that there will be enough time for the other things, and to spare.

            So here’s my vision. At 8:00 every night, we stop what we’re doing, get into jammies, brush our teeth, come downstairs, pull out journals, and read scriptures, each to ourselves, making notes as the Spirit directs (scripture journaling idea, particularly for kids, courtesy of Pinterest). Then at 8:30 we read together for ten minutes, say family prayer and the kids go to bed.

            On Sundays at 7:00, we sing a hymn, say a prayer, and the lesson belongs to, get this, all of us. No big lessons – a lot of little lessons. Thoughts from the week of studying scriptures and journaling, ideally. That gives the kids a chance to participate, and Mom and Dad get a chance to share some things in our own hearts, without so much stress about preparation. Then we play a game and eat banana cream pie and Sprite (or the equivalent).

            That leaves the first lesson to me, and if I prepare for it, they will come. My lesson will be exactly what I just wrote above, explaining the table, setting up the vision, getting everyone’s buy-in to the new format. That’s Day 1. Then Day 2 and from then on, we do it every day for the rest of our lives. Maybe it's that lifetime commitment that's really kept me from getting this going earlier. Sounds heavy, doesn't it?

OF FUTILITY AND HOPE

        It makes me sad that doing everything is impossible. The mid-life crisis seems a taller order than ever to actually live out, mostly because of work. While, as I mentioned, my wife’s MBA program is taking time I would love to use to pursue some of this, the greater barrier is that work is stressful and exhausting right now. I come home feeling completely beaten. Add to that I want to be as attentive a husband and father as possible when I get home. With all of that and health goals and church callings, when exactly was I expecting to squeeze in writing a song, let alone an a cappella group, even after she graduates?
        Considering this now, I’m totally spent, and all of the goals that make up the mid-life crisis look ridiculous, as though I was expecting to suddenly explode into ten people, all with a lot more energy than I feel I will ever have again. I remember feeling the truth of an old saying the first time I heard it: “If you chase two rabbits, both will get away.” I’m chasing like 5-6 rabbits, some of them particularly fast. Should I really take them one at a time? Should my mid-life crisis become my whole life’s bucket list?
        The problem with that seemingly reasonable counteroffer is the urgency I implied when I discussed the soup metaphor. What I had intended was that this would all just be a prerequisite, a threshold to cross, before entering into new level of living. I only meant for this to lay the foundation.
        In the midst of all this, Christmas came. In my stocking amid a great many things, I found a leather bound journal, which my wife explained was exclusively for story ideas. Well, for whatever I wanted to write in it, really, but that’s what she had in mind. A writer’s notebook. Of every Christmas gift, this has meant the most to me, because it says that she wants and expects me to follow my own dreams. What is overwhelming to consider is much different when considered through the lens of a supportive and understanding spouse.
        Hanging on until her graduation in March. In the meantime, some miscellaneous aca-updates:
        1. I just had the opportunity to sing the low bass line in “Homeless” for this year’s performance of The Forgotten Carols in Las Vegas, starring Michael McLean and Jordan Bluth. At least two Vocal Point alumni were in the same group. Sure, I know they do that with a backup track to make sure we sound the way they want us too, but it felt good. I’m not sure what it could mean, but it seems like it was not only a fun chance to sing a cappella on stage, but a neat little a cappella networking opportunity, too.
        2. Trinity and I are sharing a Christmas gift this year, the Adobe Creative Suite 5.5 Master Collection, which includes some fairly sophisticated sound editing and mastering software. It will arrive mid-January and I’m psyched to see what comes of it, if only I have enough computer to run it. And musician buddy Milas just recommended an Android app called PocketBand that he would like to use for collaborative recording (says he had me in mind when he saw it), so I downloaded the free version to give it a test drive. I hope these developments turn out to be useful and significant.
        3. Pennsylvania buddy Chris and his family have caught the acabug. We’ve been discussing lots of things for some time now, and I sent his son, Max, a copy of Mouthdrumming, by Wes Carroll. I see there’s a video on Facebook of Hultsatonix, which would be his three sons singing an a cappella Christmas message to their grandmother, with tribute to Pentatonix, winners of the Sing-Off this year. Haven’t checked it out yet, but I’m happy to think I’ve been a successful acavangelist.

GETTING TO SOUP – WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

        Funny story – well, not like funny haha, but…

        Anyway, so I’ve mentioned how listening to Mouth Off was part of what kicked me in the tush and said, seriously, when are you going to do some of this? Well, it was also on Mouth Off that I heard about “Soup to Nuts,” Bill Hare’s a cappella production “summer camp,” which Dave Brown attended and featured on the show (whence comes my favorite hip-hop a cappella track on my iPod, “Royalty”). The multi-day seminar title is an expression meaning the very beginning to the very end and everything in between, referring to multi-course meals that begin with soup and end with nuts.

        I found it ironic that as I sat listening to and envying Dave, although it’s called “Soup to Nuts,” I still don’t feel I meet the prerequisites. Though I don’t necessarily dream of attending the course, I do wish I could qualify. And that includes everything, not just a cappella. I have this vision of myself as a Renaissance Man living this fantastical life, and I have such a long way to go before even reaching the beginning of that.

        So that’s what Getting to Soup is all about. The adventure that leads to the adventure. The prequel. The Hobbit. It also works well with the expression, “Is it soup, yet?” to which the obvious answer is, “No, not yet, but I’ll let you know.” And also, I really like soup. I just had soup for lunch, a very homestyle chicken noodle from the cafeteria that could have been really good, but for the noodles having been boiled almost to disintegration. But I ate every drop, because like I say, I love soup that much, plus that was two dollars.

THE EXTENT OF MY COLLEGIATE A CAPPELLA EXPERIENCE

The a cappella world (or “acaworld” – get used to that prefix) is largely, though not entirely, driven by collegiate groups. “The Sing-Off,” if you remember, had three or four of them. Many of the successful professional groups, especially the newer ones, grew from collegiate a cappella graduates (or “aca-alums”) who really wanted to keep going.

I went to BYU. I was not a member of Vocal Point, which was founded the year I returned to BYU from my mission. I didn’t even try out. And why not? Because I had this belief that Vocal Point and pretty much anything else vocal at BYU were dominated by a super-exclusive clique of highly trained singers, all members of the Men’s Chorus or Concert Choir, and all I had ever joined was the no-tryout-required University Chorale one semester of my freshman year. I may have been wrong. Looking back, that vague unease was a lousy reason to just not even try out and give it a chance.

However, one day, I got a phone call from a stranger who had heard from someone whose name I didn’t recognize that I sang bass. They were looking to start a quartet. I joined. We met, I think, weekly in the founder’s 7 square-foot dorm room in Helaman Halls. The other three members all knew each other and had a habit of talking amongst themselves as people who know each other are wont to do.

I remember one practice in particular where the three of them were discussing how to end our Calypso version of “Cupid,” since Sam Cooke ends it in a fade out. I broke in with my suggestion. They actually took the suggestions, but their approval was kind of backhanded somehow… they were either surprised I was there or surprised I had somehow managed to make contribution, musically stunted as I was, I don’t know what. It felt like the latter. In any case, I felt even more an outsider than ever, and I never went back. I decided then it was no use joining any a cappella groups / quartets again, concluding the Brethren was only so awesome because we were all best friends first and singers almost as an afterthought. Almost, but not quite – we did work hard, after all. But as far as I was concerned, if it wasn’t those four people, it wasn’t going to happen.

That's called being a wussy little baby, and it led to 20 years of not being in anything but the occasional musical. I don't endorse those excuses anymore.

GOOD INTENTIONS: DRILLS AND EXERCISES

        As you can tell from the prolonged silence, the mid-life crisis never really got off the ground, which is good, because it would have been sidelined anyway in favor of my wife’s MBA. She’s doing this in an accelerated one year program while continuing to teach four fashion courses. She keeps talking about a second job, but she has no time now. That’s spilled over into my life, because I’ve taken on a lot to allow her the time for her classes (both kinds).

        Not that there aren’t components of the original idea alive and well. Physical improvement – lost 55 pounds and now maintaining target weight at or around 190. The new goal is to gain 10 pounds of muscle with total target weight of 195. That’s lead to quite a lot of cooking on my part, so that’s two goals. Singing and performance – I’m in a redux of the Elkhorn Springs Stake Broadway revue “W Go Together,” which I was in three years ago, but this time taking a much larger role. Not just Rapunzel’s Prince from “Into the Woods” as before, but this time Bert from “Mary Poppins” and a brother in “Joseph…” for two numbers. I’m also singing and dancing (yes, dancing) in large group numbers from “Beauty and the Beast” and “Grease.”

        By the way, the mid-life crisis made it onto Mouth Off! The 5.29.11 show featured a letter from yours truly asking for advice of how to revive your musicality and build skills enough on your own to eventually get back into a cappella. Dave Brown acknowledged remembering me from the brethren, whom he idolized as a youngster (J), then Christopher Diaz (THE Christopher Diaz) responded to the letter with the following:

Listen to a cappella music (and listen and listen) and sign with it. Find the hardest parts and try to sing along and get the notions into your head.

• Look at other charts – ask arrangers to send you a .pdf of their stuff (they’ll send it if they know you aren’t going to steal it) and look at good arranging like Kirby Shaw and see what it looks like.
• Just start recording stuff. Get Audacity installed (done!) and plug in a cheap mike and go.
• Go on YouTube and watch groups you like and see what they do.
• Read the amazing arranging articles on Casa.org.

        (I’ll have to add that last to my RSS blog feed.)

        Dave then added that it’s worth it, if only just to make you do it, to get out there and sing with a group. Perform, put some pressure on, and develop your musical ear.

        I floated the idea of a barbershop quartet past Rob Rovere, who I happened to see at church last night, even though he’s in the Cedar Springs Ward now. His response was an enthusiastic “WHEN?” So there’s that. Two numbers I would especially love to do (which fit the genre) are “The Chordbuster’s March” and “Magic Kingdom in the Sky.” It would be amazing if I could find written arrangements without having to pick them out from the recordings.

        In addition to implementing Christopher and Dave’s genius advice, I did already have a few drills lined up for myself, regarding which I am slacking due to the current overwhelm of working the physical goals, supporting my wife, being in this stake play, and an unusually time-intensive calling as Elders Quorum secretary, all new since my last post. But I don’t know; maybe that’s all still just excuses. Anyway, here are the drills.

        The guitar drills: Switch from C to D to G and back (and forth) over and over – learn to strum while hitting only the strings you want. Practice assigning a right finger to a string, thumb takes the top two, and drill on fingerpicking with the same chords (aka: friend-who-plays-guitar and overall spiritual hero, Milas Howe, came over and gave me homework)

        The vocal percussion drills: Do, Ka, Do-Ka, Do, Ka-Do, Do-Ka etc, to a metronome, on my own, and/or while listening to the radio (aka: Wes Carroll’s “Mouthrdrumming” lesson one. It was $15, not $20, on AcaTunes, as previously posted).

        Finally, I’m feeling some urgency to act first and foremost on another unbegun good intention, namely regarding mine and my family’s spiritual health. More on that later.